Author Archives: Kao Koneko

About Kao Koneko

KaoKoneko is a sentient non-being entity who likes shoes, doesn't believe in giraffes and has a tragic hunger for pie.

Release (breathe).

Recently I have captured what is, beyond any reasonable doubt, the greatest photograph I have ever taken and will ever take:

Everything else is downhill from here.
she does not protec
she does not atac
she constantly screm for additional snacc

From here on out any continued attempt at existence on my part is a mere formality as i passively await Death’s tender embrace.

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I know what I am (and I’m your villain).

Time to finish this months overdue trilogy of trouble. Why has it taken so long? Well friends, you see, I have zero time management skills and even less motivation!

To recap: this heinously outdated write-up concerns the Odlaw costume I revisited last New Year for a Where’s Wally? themed party.

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You move like shadows in the dark.

Spats (or spatterdashes) are a type of footwear which is not unpopular in the steampunk scene, but otherwise went out of fashion in the early 20th century for reasons which are currently beyond me, I mean, they serve a practical purpose, y’know? Keeps the mud off your shoes. Not that I go outside frequently enough to get muddy shoes in the first place but I think we can all agree that it’s fun to accessorise regardless.

All us overdressed villains, that is!

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Because I won’t give up without a fight.

Despite developing shingles on top of my regularly scheduled December meltdown, my barely functional ass sat itself down having decided it was as good a time as any to make a real actual attempt at learning to crochet properly despite all previous yarn-craft efforts being catastrophic failures.

Crochet fail.
The previous failure being crocheted directly into the next as some kind of fucked up hat-based Ouroboros.

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Running right through deep inside our veins.

Not that my anxiety game is so powerful it can reactivate chickenpox, but guess who’s got shingles?!

varicella zoster
Hint: It’s me. I do.

Further proof that I actually am an elderly man.

“Why are you joking about this? Shingles can be really serious you know!”
Because I lack the appropriate emotional responses for any given situation. Next question.

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Rip what you can off me.

The marriage plebiscite somehow managed to arrive a couple of weeks ago.
Tech Support and I both ticked the “YES” and I slam-dunked those bad boys right into the nearest post box from which they hopefully made it to their destination, but with recent reports of fraud and mail tampering which has accompanied this whole ordeal… who can say for sure?!

My Little Pony rainbow.
[ / aggressively arranges ponies into endless rainbow formations ]

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Everybody seems so far away from me.

Recently I applied as a cadaver donor. You can read all about that over here.

From there I’ve been looking into which body parts can be legally harvested while I’m still alive. A kidney is the obvious first choice with half my liver coming in a close second, but it turns out these things are rather… complicated, so I toned it the hell down and, realising:

  1. I’ve had no new piercings in several years, and
  2. have maintained an acceptable body weight for over a year,

Turned my attention instead to blood donation.

Officially a reverse-vampire.
The offering has been accepted.

After receiving the go-ahead from relevant medical professionals and blood tests it was time to get on with it.

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Take my tears and that’s not nearly all.

Salutations friends, fiends, furs, and foes!

It’s getting close to that time of year again: OZ Kink Fest will be running from the 15th to the 25th of September where I will be joining Von Chibi‘s team on the runway once more for the Fetish Expo Fashion Parade from 4pm on Saturday the 16th.

It’s looking set to be a kinky day, so! If that sounds like something you’d be into feel free to join us at the Fitzroy Town Hall where the doors will be open from 12noon with tickets around $25.

Please be aware that this is an 18+ event.*

Further information can be found here:

Maybe we’ll see you there?

*Actually, I can’t find any information specifying age restrictions but am making assumptions based on the nature of the event(s).